5 Failproof Ways to Get High if You’re Out of Drugs

We live in a trap of a world. No matter how we look at it, our actions are entirely determined by a force that isn’t contained in our body. In our silly efforts to disentangle the dilemmas of life, we humans were efficient enough to complicate things with the ideas of soul, of one-ness, of consciousness… Consciousness is perhaps the root cause of it all. We’ve toyed with it, beaten it to pulp, taken it to date, and somewhere in between, we tried drugs. Drugs and human philosophy – like cola and mentos – have always had a very…dynamic relationship. From Plato’s intake of the classic psychoactive brew Kykeon for a better perception of the self to Jean-Paul Sartre’s mescaline-induced visions of an umbrella becoming a vulture or of a running man-toad on street, the exploration of consciousness has been a mystifying (or is it nauseating?) journey. And it is only normal if one of us in our intense pursuit towards understanding life (ahem! ahem!) has already explored these psychoactive substances. But we tell you, if you didn’t have them in your life, you wouldn’t always need them; for you have something far more complex, more powerful inside your very own system. Is it our mind? Is it hormones? Or, are we suggesting some never heard of inventive drug practices?

Well, read ahead.

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1. Pursue the Forgotten Song

There is always this one song that has been trained to edge your mind. It flirts and hints, leaves a word here, tune there, yet you just can’t remember the track. In those moments you spend in search of the song – describing out the incoherent bits to your family home, friends online, voicing out the possible lyrics to your acquaintance at work in desperation, or even going through random comments on an unrelated YouTube video – how tiring and unfruitful the act may seem or end up being, you’re keeping yourself busy, you’re doing something, there’s engagement in your stupid head. And admit it, perhaps you’re enjoying the search more than you ever will the song.

Drug #1: Purpose

2. Adopt a Dog

This is simply therapy redefined. You can pour everything out to this one companion: share your happiness, your grief, even your pathetic jokes; well, sometimes all you need in life is to watch them never get tired of maniacally chasing their tail or have them idly fall asleep on your lap. Consider this a mutual exchange of oxytocin and all other feel-good hormones. You feel it, they feel it, you’re both happy. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Drug #2: Love

3. Travel the World, so You Could Finally Come Back Home

For some, the journey in itself constitutes an integral part of their life. Their excitement lies in the process of movement, being someplace foreign, sleeping under roofs unfamiliar. For others, the journey is only half the story. Their high (or shall we say trip?) takes its origin from the very act of homecoming. Sometimes this home is your actual home where you have your loved ones waiting, sometimes the home is your entire native land with all of its population of beings both alive and inanimate your family, and sometimes, the home is in your head, and the journey is down the labyrinth of memory where for some unknown reason you feel good, safe, and warm.

We’re thinking childhood. Are you thinking childhood? Good.

Drug #3: Nostalgia

4. Take a Long Cold Bath

Long cold baths, preferably on those nights when it’s possibly already unpleasantly cold but you just couldn’t care less. When you’re alone and is taking this absentminded shower where you soak your skin and let your mind wander, you might think of all the embarrassing situations you’ve ever been in, all the arguments that shouldn’t have been, the cow that stood on the road as you kept honking three years ago, but in the end, you simply end up realizing how truly alone you are. The most profound instances of introspection happen without us even being aware of it. In the busy lives we lead, make sure to preserve the showers. Find ways to recreate such instances through your interactions with your self in your alone-time away from all the madness of the outer world. Pick a book. Water the plants. Laugh at your very own reflection in the mirror.

Drug #4: Solitude

5. Think Fellini

Italian auteur Federico Fellini in one of his interviews makes an unintentionally hilarious comment on having been on LSD where he is heard stating his experience to be “a little bit disappointing”. Coming from one of the most creative geniuses of the twentieth century, the words can be a blow to anyone who strongly relates art to substance abuse. True, each one of our systems works and reacts differently to be hit differently by external forces, but what Fellini here emphasizes is the power of our mind as it is, the ability of perception – the various doors in our heads to which only we hold the key. So perhaps close your eyes, lay down a bit, and let these doors to your mind remain open.

Drug #5: Imagination

Make sure to try them all! :)